I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
