We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
