Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
