I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
