She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
