You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
