i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
