just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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