I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
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