i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize