i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
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