hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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