What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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