she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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