the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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