Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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