At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
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