my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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