i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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