You just made me feel so damn special
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
