i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
