I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
