I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize