If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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