On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
