Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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