Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
