I must be too annoying 4 u.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
