Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
