summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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