My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
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