This dress was meant to end up on your floor
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
