well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
honey bunches of taint.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
