the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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