we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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