we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
