She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
