I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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