farters have to be the big spoon...
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
