so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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