your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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