Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize