after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
