ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
