You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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