Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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