just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
