so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I have feelings that need drinking.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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