It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
