How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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