one word: firstdatebathroomanal
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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