First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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