quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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