You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize