Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
