Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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