Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
