oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize