I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
