So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
