Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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