I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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